Dear Mavis I'm compelled to write this letter In the hope that you may soon be getting better I've a feeling you should go and see a doctor If you haven't then you know you really oughta I was worried so I went to see the vicar But before I could confess he first confessed to be a stripper Dear Mavis it was very strange to see him So I thought I'd write and ask you your opinion Should I grass on him, report him to the Cardinal? Or whether I should egg him on to turn professional? If I dob on him they'll call him plastic scouser But the only thing the Stripper Vicar wears is plastic trousers Mavis's opinion, all we really seek Mavis's opinion, all we, should we... Lie while he's still alive? Should we lie while he's still alive? 'Cause when the vicar strips he gets away with it Dear Mavis thought I'd follow up my letter Drop a line about the fate of our poor vicar Very tragically his time on Earth has ended Found him gagged and bound in stockings and suspenders D'dear Mavis if you tell us what you're thoughts are And I hope that they're not biased 'cause you are the vicar's daughter Mavis's opinion,all we really seek Mavis's opinion, all we, should we... Lie now that he has died? Should we lie now that he has died? 'Cause when the vicar strips he gets away with it And we know that he's a vicar and by night a part time stripper And the vicar got suspended in his stockings and suspenders And he's making wine from water while he dresses like his daughter And we know that he's a rip off 'cause we've seen him with his kit off Should we lie now that he has died? Should we lie now that he has died? 'Cause when the vicar strips he gets away with it, oh shit!